Why Is He Staring At You and NOT Talking to You?

Dear Mike,

Hello, So I am in college and there is a guy I am interested in. When first talking to him I told him he would have to work to get me and that I am not just interested in sex and he said he understood and would work for me. So one day he asked me to come over to his dormitory after three hours of debating on whether i should go or not I finally went. We watched a movie while talking about relationships. I told him my views on relationships is that a guy should make a effort to get to know a girl first before sex, and that they should be in a relationship first before having sex. His response was that he believes in having sex with a girl first then getting to know each other. I did not fall for this and kept debating my opinion. After the debate I left and based on our conversation I decided to text him this: I was interested in u that's why I came to your room to have a conversation with you to see where your head was at. I respect the type of mentality that you have and your views on certain things but you're not what I am looking for. I know my worth and I love and respect myself enough to not fall for your mentality. I hope you find what you're looking for but it's not me. His response: Say no more ( Which is basically saying I understand or respect that) At the time I didn't understand what his response meant (until a friend told me the urban dictionary definition for it) so I took it as he wanted to stop talking to me and I didn't respond back. Now every time we see each other he just stares at me and we work at the same job I catch him constantly looking at me but he doesn't say anything. My question basically is, why does he keep staring at me but doesn't say anything?

Linita

Linita,

The guy is looking at you because you are the girl he didn't get to sleep with. He is probably attracted to you, but he is not attracted and intrigued enough to put in the effort of getting to know you and possibly dating you. Basically, you are hot enough for him to look at, but not hot enough for him to put in the effort.

He is not willing to put in the effort because he is either 1) not interested in a relationship 2) for some reason not interested in a relationship with you.

On a positive note, at least you saved A LOT OF TIME and possibly heart break by NOT spending adequate enough time to sleep together to then find out he was only putting in the minimal amount of effort to sleep with you. Anyway, I think you hit the lottery with this one.

Congratulations and hope you find a guy soon that is ready to get to know you.