Every relationship has a honeymoon period. We have all felt it. It is that great feeling when you finally feel butterflies for someone. Even after the butterflies disappear, if the relationship continues to progress you eventually fall in love. Now, after 3 months, 6 months, or 2 years later or more the chemistry has started to fade and it is time to see what the relationship is made of.
First, here is how I define chemistry fading:
1. Sex/Intimacy has decreased to once per week
2. Routine of activity has set in
3. Dates or seeing each other is just going through the motions
4. You may start to wonder if there is someone better out there
Now, some daters will send their significant other swiftly back into the dating pool to go searching for that "high" that can only be obtained in the honeymoon stage. But for the rest of us that want to stay with the person we are with, there has to be a way to re-gain the chemistry.
I spent countless hours researching this and eventually got fed up with many writers coming up with lists as long as 15 plus to get the romance back. Although I didn't disagree with the advice, this is EZ Dating Coach and everything needs to be easy because if something is hard to do, no one is going to do it. Thus, I have figured out there is only 2 things you need to do to get chemistry back.
1. Compliment Your Partner and Remind Them Why You Fell In Love With Them
This is so valuable. Everyone gets insecure. Everyone needs to be reminded of their great qualities. If you can make your man feel special, loved, and appreciated, he will be in a more loving spot to 1. return the favor and 2. provide you with whatever you need in the relationship to feel special.
2. Break Routine and Do Something New/Fun with Partner
This is a must. Routine is amazing for pro athletes, sleeping, avoiding getting sick, and many other reasons. But if every week you watch Netflix on Friday, order a pizza, and go to bed, eventually your weeks will get stale. Shake things up and do something different.
Plan a weekend away, HAVE FUN TOGETHER, and be curious about how your man has changed since you last got to know him. The exciting part about relationships is that your partner is constantly changing so there will always be new things to learn. Not to mention, your partner is always learning new things every day, perhaps you can get him to teach you what he learns. It could be something very interesting to you, not to mention, men love to show off their knowledge and feel smart in front of their ladies.
Date 1: Drinks
Date 2: Drinks, maybe dinner out
Date 3: He Invites you to his house for a "home cooked" meal
"Netflix and chill", inviting you over for a cooked dinner, this is all code for "I want to have sex with you".
If you are not ready to have sex yet, what are you supposed to do?
I would suggest saying the following when he invites you over for dinner. "Thanks for the amazing offer, that sounds delicious and I definitely want to do that in the future. But for now, I would rather meet in a public place and keep getting to know each other."
Why is this message phenomenal?
1. "Thanks for the amazing offer" - Shows your man appreciation for his actions
2. "I definitely want to do that in the future" - You are not shooting him down, you are just pushing back when this date will happen
3. "I would rather meet in a public place" - Dating is hard. No need to be nebulous in what you want. Now he knows this third dates needs to be at a restaurant, movie, or any place that is not private. He also should be aware that you are not ready for sex yet. (This does not mean with 100% certainty he won't try anyway)
4. If he is just dating you to get laid, there is a decent chance after reading this message he may cancel the third date. If he does this, he was only cooking in hopes of getting in your pants.
5. If he sets up a date in a public place, there is a high chance he really likes you, wants to get to know you better, and finally is willing to wait to have sex.
IMPORTANT SIDE NOTE: Men are looking for sex and they stumble upon finding love. When they are dating, it is their job to attempt to get laid. Now that you know this, don't be mad when he attempts to jump your bones. This is male human nature and a compliment that he finds you attractive. But as a woman, it is your job to set your boundaries, he doesn't get the prize until you are 100% ready.
If you are looking a for a serious committed relationship, "READY" should entail monogamy or at minimum a man that is doing the following:
1. Introductions to Friends/Family
2. Making Future Plans Together
3. Willing to speak on phone daily
4. Not texting to setup sex once per week
5. Scheduling dates in advance
