In a previous post I discuss the massive need on how to make a man feel needed even when you don't need him. Well guess what, months later and this topic is still extremely important.
Men are going to gravitate towards you when you make them feel needed and appreciated after they satisfy your need.
Instead of trying to explain this I am just going to show you:
1. Instead of opening your own bottle of wine say, "Bob, will you use your big strong arms and open this wine bottle for me?" (Yes I am sure you have been opening wine all your life and yes, there is a good chance you are better than Bob at this. But if you don't make him feel needed, he won't want to be around you.)
Now, he opens the bottle of wine and pours you a glass.
"Thank you so much," you say with jubilation. Bob feels great about himself. Nice Job!
Or, you could open the bottle and pour the wine yourself. Bob, feels either nothing, or a tiny bit emasculated. Better to look to your feminine side and ask Bob for help. He will get the testosterone boost by solving your problem, and you will get the oxytocin boost by being thought about, cared about, and provided for.
You may think this whole thing is silly and a waste of time. But trust me, if something is this easy and can make a man so happy why wouldn't you do it?
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2. What if you told him, "Bob I need to tell you about a problem I am having at work. I just want you to listen for ten minutes and I DON'T want you to solve the problem. If you are willing to listen I will feel so much better."
What your guy hears?
"All I need to do is listen, no thinking, no solving, and after 10 minutes she is going to feel better and thank me? Sign me up! This sounds easy."
If you don't tell your guy an end time, an end result, he is going to feel like he is NOT helping you in your conversation. He will feel like he is not needed because he is not helping you. A man not needed will eventually become disheartened and look for someone that does need him.
What did we learn?
Ask for help, receive it, and appreciate your guy for it. When this happens you get taken care of, made to feel special, he feels needed and appreciated. Boom! Happy and healthy relationship.
Have you ever been present when a couple fights? Was it extremely awkward? I was present for a close friend screaming back and forth with his girlfriend. I remember pondering, "Man, I wonder if these two are going to make it?"
Almost ten years later, they are happily married with a child which begs the question, "How are they solving conflicts now?"
My friend, not a dating expert, psychologist, or anything else relevant gave some pretty damn good advice. Check it out:
1. Stop Drinking Vodka
2. Don't Scream/Curse/Name-Call. It tends to make you the asshole even if you're right about the initial disagreement
3. Take your losses, you don't have to win every fight
4. When apologizing, don't follow with an excuse/explanation. Just Apologize
5. Give both parties time to cool down after a fight. Different people take different amounts of time to get over things.
6. Forgive and accept sincere apologies quickly. Don't be the asshole that holds grudges.
What do you think, good advice? Send me a message and let me know your thoughts.
