A few months ago I was sitting on a girls bed, we just had a great day date, we walked around the upper west side. Then grabbed a drink at a trendy specialty cocktail bar. Next, we grabbed a quick dinner and then we retreated back to her apartment to relax and watch a movie.
All day I had been thinking about how I was crazy about the girl and quite simply I would be happy to stop dating other women and just focus on her. However, in the past I was always the quintessential Mr. Indecisive and sometimes could take 3-6 months of casual dating until I asked a girl to be exclusive.
Anyway, on her bed, on that evening, I was jumping out of the plane with no chute and was going for it. I asked her if she would like to be exclusive.
Her response, "I am flattered, but are you asking me just so I will have sex with you?"
This made me realize we have 2 Major Problems in the Dating World:
1. Women sometimes perceive men as willing to do anything to get laid
2. MEN NEED TO STOP LYING ABOUT THEIR TRUE INTENTIONS
I am going to focus on #2 first because that drives me crazy for 2 Reasons:
1. You get what you ask for
2. If you are honest you get laid more often!!!!!!!!!
Dear Men,
Confidence is sexy. Tell a woman you are speaking to her because she is beautiful, sexy, fun to talk to, and ultimately you would like to have sex with her but are not looking for a relationship. Since you are being honest there is a good chance she will APPRECIATE your honesty and confidence and continued to be intrigued by what you are offering, which in this case is purely SEX.
Dear Ladies,
When it comes to a man asking for your hand in an exclusive relationship, we mean it. Especially, if you make us work for it. If we have went on the trouble to go on 5+ dates, we are continuing to date you because we like you. Very few men are willing to go on 5+ dates just to get laid. The man who wants to get laid will convince some girl at a bar, go on tinder, or do anything that involves less effort.
The man looking for a meaningful relationship, goes on dates, asks questions about you, wants to meet your family and friends, plans the future with you, and simply gets to know you. This same man, when he is ready will ask you to be monogamous.
Ladies, Men do not ask women for exclusivity to get laid. Men ask women for monogamy because they are convinced they have met their queen, their vision of the perfect woman. Enjoy it, be flattered, and if you feel the same way, accept his proposal.
Happy Dating,
Mike
Ready to find a man that knows with 100% certainty that you are his perfect woman? Setup a 15 minute phone strategy session with me to start the process of finding love now. I can be booked at https://mikegoldstein.youcanbook.me/
This is a very common issue that comes up constantly. I hate to call it an issue because it really shouldn't be. It is hard enough to make a relationship work than to have to worry about the fact that the female earns more than the man. WHO CARES?
Well unfortunately, the man sometimes does. So what should women do to help the situation? Great question!
First, obviously don't rub it in his face that you make more money. It will be emasculating because society suggests that men should be providing for women. I think most of us can agree that we still want men paying for dates.
Second, appreciate your man for the qualities that are great. For example, after dinner, grab his arm and say, "I love being wrapped up in your arms, I feel so safe with you". Try this, the man will have a HUGE smile. I promise!
Another example, "You are so manly and you allow me to be myself around you"
The point of these examples are to make your men feel appreciated, hopefully remind him that there are things way more valuable to you than how much money he makes. At the end of the day, we want him to feel comfortable being himself, and as long you make him feel like he is the only man that could make you this happy, money won't matter.
Finally, if after weeks or even months, the man refuses to get over the fact that you make more money than him, than the two of you may not be a match right now. Confidence is sexy and if a man can't have the confidence to say, "I am the luckiest man in the world, I've got a woman who is intelligent, beautiful, caring, and happens to have the added bonus of making more than me" than he is not ready to date a successful woman. This is not your problem anymore, it is his. Hopefully he will learn to deal with his insecurities, step up to the plate and realize he offers so many other great qualities and his paycheck should not define him or what he is capable of providing to a partner in a committed relationship.
So what do you do? Unfortunately, you need to set this man free so he can work on himself and hopefully become more secure with his paycheck.
