It is no secret that getting men to open up, show emotion, or talk about their feelings is basically the equivalent of getting the Red Sea to part. It is no easy task. For whatever reason, on average men use about 7,000 words per day while women use about 20,000. So based on this data point, it is clear on average men are less expressive than women. However, there is a way to get men to talk about their feelings. I wanted to outline that process for you today because nothing is sexier than a man who confidently expresses himself and is able to open up.
First,
1. Make A Safe Place For Him To Be Himself
No men is ever going to tell you what he is feeling until he knows you 1. are not going to judge him and 2. are going to accept him for whatever he says. You do this by telling him you are okay with all the things other women were not huge fans of.
For example, if he plays video games once a week, or watches some strange program on television the best thing you can do is encourage him to do these things. After he finishes he will remember how awesome you are, and how different you are from every other woman and hopefully reward you with date nights or at least step up and attempt to make you equally happy.
Step 2. When Both Parties are Upset/Sad - Ask him to share why he is feeling a certain way?
Men hate conflict. Men want women happy all the time. However, that is impossible. Everyone has a down day. But, when you are mad, he wants you to be happy. Tell him, "If you can explain what you are feeling/thinking that will make me feel better." You are challenging him to open up but are giving him a reward at the end of the tunnel. All he needs to do is explain his inner workings and you will start to feel better. Now, once he explains himself do number three.
Step 3. Tell Him, "I feel so much better now and feel great understanding you better"
He is thinking, wow that was easy. I talked for a little bit and all of a sudden we are not arguing. My girlfriend/wife is happy again. That was simple (Men love solving problems). Which leads us to:
Step 4. Appreciate him for being so open, vulnerable and tell him:
"You made me so happy that you are comfortable enough to share your feelings." -
Once again, keep re-enforcing his good behavior. It is vital that he fully understands that in the future if he share his emotions he will 1. be accepted for them, 2. be able to alleviate fights, and 3. be appreciated for his amazing communication skills.
There you have it ladies. You are never going to turn your husband into the communicator your best girlfriend is but with the 4 step process outlined above you can certainly positively reinforce your man into expressing his feelings in a far superior manner than what he may currently be doing.
I am sure you have heard men and women joke that a key to a man's heart is 1. through his stomach 2. through a good blow job or 3. well actually I think number 1 and 2 covered it. Well quite frankly, those two things are a pretty good start. However, in this article we need to dive deeper into the more intricate nuances of truly turning a guy on and keeping him turned on for a lifetime because who wants to get him for a fling when you can keep him interested forever.
In order to highlight these points I made a video for you. Check it out here:
No time for a video, No problem. Here are the 7 Biggest Turn Ons For Guys
1. Tell Your Man he is Hot - You want affirmation that you still go it, well so does he. Fortunately, he probably only needs it about once every two weeks. Even once a month may do.
2. Variety In Sex Life - Role Play - No one wants a stale sex life. Maybe you close all the blinds and decide to clean the house in sexy lingerie, or maybe you decided to role play your favorite sex scene from a movie. Either way, I bet you can't keep your hands off each other to either finish cleaning or finish the entire scene of the movie. Challenge accepted?
3. Playful Biting -
Kissing can be hard, soft, fast, slow, but a good kiss is never predictable and constantly changing. A man wants a little mystery and playfulness when he kisses you. Perhaps a gentle bite of his lower lip and then a pause an inch from a lip with your eyes staring into his soul. Watch what happens when you try this!
4. Striptease - Strip clubs are very successful. He will never need to go to one again if you give him a private special show for his eyes only. Maybe even take him to the "champagne room" where he can touch whatever he wants. Watch out!
5. Make Noises During Sex - Men are very self conscious of their sexual performance. Now, we will hate if you are faking it. But we will love it if you moan when we do things right. Make noises to positively reinforce when we touch the right spot the right way. Use noises to 1. teach us what you like and 2. increase the fun and excitement of the experience.
6. Ask For What You Want - Whether you need more dates, attention, better communication, or simply for him to pull your hair during sex, MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS. Ask and you shall receive assuming he cares about you. If he doesn't care about you, well... that is a problem.
7. Talk Dirty - Keep it simple at first. "Oh that feels so good. I love when you are doing x." Figure out what he likes and of course you feel comfortable saying and then move onto bigger and better statements as needed.
There you have it folks. How to turn your man on and keep your sex life sexy. Have fun out there, and make sure to communicate with your partner so you learn and teach what YOU specifically want both in your relationship and in the bedroom.
Wondering what to read next? Check out How Women Can Be Irresistible and Keep a High Quality Man Forever.
I am sure you have already figured this out from all my other articles but men and women are entirely different. Men require independence, appreciation, affirmation, and acceptance in a healthy relationship while women need support, validation, understanding, and attention/affection. While of course these adjectives are not all encompassing they are good start for what we require in amazing relationships. In this article and video I want to focus on how women can compliment men to get the best results. You will be shocked that the way men want to be complimented is the exact opposite of how women want to be complimented. Here is a video illustrating this exact point:
So How Do You Compliment Men?
1. Compliment The Activity He Planned: Declare your happiness to him.
If he plans a date to go to a park. Say, "This park is amazing, I am having the best time with you."
If he takes you to a restaurant. "This salmon is amazing, thank you so much for taking me here. We are also having such a great conversation, I love spending time with you."
When he pulls your chair out for you. "You are such a gentleman. Holding chairs is a lost art but clearly not for you. Thank you so much."
Compliments That Are Less Effective on Men
1. Complimenting His Physical Appearance
"I love that shirt on you, you look amazing."
"I love your new haircut, you are so handsome."
Men will say thank you and maybe even smile to the compliments above but they will find the most happiness from knowing that they are needed and then appreciated by you. They will feel needed when they pull out your chair, needed when they find you the best restaurant, or needed when they pick a great park to walk around in. On top of that, they will feel appreciated when you compliment them on their great selection. So ladies make your man feel like a million bucks and compliment the activity not the man.
