I am a dating coach located in greater Manhattan. Some of my successful female clients make 300K plus. Simple demographic data shows that most men make less than 300K. Does that mean because my clients are successful they should be limiting their dating pool to men who make 300K or more?
ABSOLUTELY NOT!
My clients didn't become successful to have less options. However, some men will be insecure to women that are more financially successful. When they meet this man, he is probably not the right guy for them.
The right guy will appreciate their success and look up to their work ethic and intelligence. They should not be afraid to toss a side the guy who can't accept who they are. Removing the guy will allow them to be available to someone who will treasure them "as is".
We all go on so many first dates. Most of them are not great. However, every once in awhile the date goes very well. You get home, you start thinking about the person and begin to see how your life could be different with them in it. You have feelings of butterflies, excitement, and curiosity about whether this person could be something great.
However, soon after, you start to wonder, should I call the person, should I text, will he reach out to me? Ah!!!!!! What should you do?
First, you need to have a process on whether this person truly has the qualities you need in a life partner. This process can be found here. No willy-nilly dating here. We only focus our time on men that meet the standard we know we need!
Now, assuming he has the traits YOU NEED. The next step is super simple.
Do absolutely NOTHING.
Don't over think it, don't text him. Do NOTHING.
Why are you doing this?
The man's actions after early relationship dating will tell you all the story you need to know about whether he likes you or not.
If he texts/calls you within 48 hours, things are looking promising. If he asks you out again within 48 hours, this is a good sign.
If a man is interested in you, he will move hell and high water to get to you. You need not do anything. He is coming for you if interested.
If for some reason he doesn't reach out, don't be insulted and try to not to get upset. This decisions to not reach out has NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU PERSONALLY.
He is not interested simply because he is looking for something different. The something different could be a million things but here is a few examples
1. He wants sex and realizes you want a relationship
2. Wants someone who is athletic, you are more of a book person
3. Prefers a woman who is curvy, you have a skinny tennis body
4. He only dates circus clowns :)
5. This list could go forever
My point is simple. When you like someone and they don't like you back it is easy to think something is wrong with you. However, that is 100% not the case. The person is simply looking for something different. You are fantastic in your own right. This guy is the wrong guy for you. Every pot has a lid. This is not your lid, time to keep searching.
But, every time you meet someone promising, remember, just do NOTHING after the 1st date. He is going to tell you everything you need to know by how and when he pursues you.
Happy Dating Ladies and Gentleman. I look forward to hearing your success stories. If you are reading my blogs and noticed I missed a topic, please email me your questions at datingcoachmike@gmail.com
This is such an important question. We have all had that sexual experience that was less than orgasmic, potentially even awkward, not stimulating, and maybe even painful. So most of us, if we like the person will give it a few attempts to see if the first try was just nerves or a fluke. However, what do you do if the sex is consistently bad or maybe just mediocre?
Well the first thing to do is look at your short list of the 5 things you MUST HAVE in a romantic partner. If great sex is on there, then maybe you break things off with this person, or perhaps you look at your list and determine that one of the other qualities on your list is more important than sex.
I know when I am in a relationship I can usually get caught up on minor issues that are less than ideal. In this particular case, we are looking at sex that is not 100% satisfying. But, in order to be an effective dater, or really effective at making any decisions in life we must take a big step backwards and look at the problem compared to the big picture and understand the long term implications.
In this case the sex is bad.
First, is it possible it could improve? Second, how often do you currently have sex? Third, of the time you spend together, how much of it is having sex? Finally, as you get older do you suspect your sex drive may go down or even more realistic, life will get in the way and sex will simply happen less frequently?
Also, if you have met a great guy, there is probably a few things true about him.
1. He will be willing to listen to you if you want to give him direction in the bedroom.
2. He is going to make you so happy that sex may be an afterthought of how great your life together is
3. He may be willing to seek outside council for sexual guidance
If you are looking for someone I personally am a fan of Sam Gedal @ http://livinginpassion.net/
In regards to sex although it is extremely important, I believe that for many of us, other qualities may supersede having a sexual superstar. Here are some stats to consider about sex from Dr. Fisch of NYP Hospital.
The average couple has sex every one to three days in their 20s and that this drops to about twice a week for those between 30 and 50.
About 45 percent of men orgasm within two minutes of starting penetrative sex, which is much too quick for the average woman
Married couples over the age of 50 tend to have sex less than once a week.
Most couples have sex at least once a day when they are first together but this declines over time.
So what do you think, is bad sex a deal breaker or are other qualities more important?
Need more personalized relationship advice? Or ready to find the love of your life? Setup a free 15 minute introduction call with me, Mike Goldstein. Book your appointment HERE
Link to book apointment: https://mikegoldstein.youcanbook.me/
