So the New Year has arrived and you made a resolution to find love in 2016. Awesome! Making that promise to yourself is the first step toward accomplishing your goal. But in order to reach it, you have to be consistent.
Online dating is a great place to start meeting people. Here are 3 steps for success I recommend to my clients:
1. Set 3 times a week where you will respond and send messages to perspective dates. (For example: M-W-F at 8PM to 8:30.) Block this time on your calendar and be consistent.
2. Determine how many dates per week you want to go on to meet a person you want to pursue exclusively. I usually suggest about 2 dates per week.
3. Make dating a priority. If you have a promising date lined up for Thursday make sure you get there. Don't cancel when your friends invite you for dinner or drinks.
This alone won't guarantee results. But it's a great place to start as you keep your resolution of finding love in 2016.
Brian rolls into his plush New York City midtown office at 8:30AM to start his work day. He takes a sip of coffee and opens up email. By 9AM he has caught up with email and is ready to start the day. WAIT! Tinder time.
Swipe Right, Swipe Right, Swipe Right, maybe an occasional Swipe Left for good measure. Match, match, soon to be match, and so on.
He slides into the matches section of tinder and has 13 new ladies he is yet to type to and three girls he is mid conversation with. By noon he has planned a date for Tuesday at 8PM, and a date for 7PM on Thursday followed by a date at 9PM Thursday (Two in One Night!). In case you are wondering, yes this does happen and yes this is more the norm than not happening, especially in the city that doesn't sleep, NYC.
The Data
Now, if Brian is averaging 3 dates per week. In one year he will go on about 156 dates. However, Brian has been single for three years. Thus, Brian has been on about 468 dates. WOAH! That is a lot of dates! Brian is a busy man.
If Brian has met 468 women, do you think it is possible that maybe, just maybe one of these women should have been a great match for him? Well... I hope so! However, for some reason Brian is still single. Now, Brian is not single by choice. He candidly does want a girlfriend, but just like EVERYONE ELSE, he does not want to feel like he is settling. Due to women always looking bigger and brighter from a far he keeps dating new girls and doesn't give good matches a fair shake.
The Findings
Unfortunately, or fortunately, countless psychology studies have proven that when the human brain has more than three options it becomes extremely difficult to make a decision. Thus, when you introduce online dating, everyone has access to countless dating options. All these options lead to indecision or what I like to call, "Could I do better syndrome?"
If you have, "could I do better syndrome?" you are going to knit pick everything about your potential partners. Well," he only makes six figures, I was really hoping for a guy that makes 250k plus. His face is shaven, I want a guy with a manly beard," and so on.
What YOU Should Do!
So I guess the million dollar question is, How Do You Keep a Guys Attention?
1. Be interested, not interesting on your date. This is key. People love to talk about themselves.
Ask him questions about anything you are genuinely interested about. Now here is the important part, make sure you hold eye contact and truly listen actively. Hang on what he is saying, assuming you are interested give him raw emotions that are vivid and easily seen on your facial expressions. If he feels you are excited about what is coming out of his mouth he will be much more excited to take the positive interested girl on a second date than some random girl who may be boring and potentially a poor conversationalist.
2. Keep Him Wondering Sexually - 90% of my women clients no matter what I say struggle with no sex until monogamy.
I don't fault them, I don't judge them, and frankly many times the guy sticks around anyway. But, the common denominator of when man stick around is simple. The sex always happens after he has already made up his mind that you are the girl for him.
I am a broken record on this but if he is talking about meeting family, friends, and booking future vacations he is certain of you.
If you are not 100% sure he has made up his mind about you, Please do not have sex yet. I am not saying this because I don't want you to experience pleasure but because men whether they want to admit it or not feel like kings of the world when they finally get laid from a girl that made them work for it.
Men want to feel like they did something no other man on the world could accomplish. (Obviously most of you have sex men before, but you want to portray to your man that you don't just give yourself to everyone)
His feeling of accomplishment coupled with good conversation, some mutual interests, and fun dates together should keep a man coming back for more.
Tired of being single. Tired of reading my articles but having no one to try my concepts on?
Ready for some one on one coaching from me to get you the man of your dreams? If so now is the time to take action. I am currently giving 100% FREE Dating Strategy Sessions. I give these free so you can get to know me and together we can figure out if we could be successful together. If for whatever reason we decide to not work with each other, no sweat, and I promise you will walk away understanding your dating life a whole lot more. You have NOTHING TO LOSE!
CLICK HERE to book an intro call with me. If the intro call goes well we will book your 100% FREE Strategy Session.
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95% of online dating profiles are ineffective according to the analytics of one of the major online dating sites. I am sure everyone reading this is entirely skeptical of this statistic. However, let me explain why it is 100% accurate. This statistic is not saying, the grammar is poor or the writing is bad.
This statistic is stating, in terms of telling a story that leads to messages, 95% of online profiles are uneffective. Here is why. The Profiles do NOT HAVE Specific Content.
Let me give you an example of a profile that is intelligent, coherent, and is probably from a wonderful person but will NOT receive many messages:
I come from a small town in North Jersey and have enjoyed the small town thing for the most part, but I'm eager to see what else this world has to offer. I admit that I really haven't traveled or experienced as much as I would like to by this point in my life, so I'm hoping to find someone who would like to share is some new life experiences with me. I enjoy going to concerts and being outdoors (really just being active overall). The relationships I have with my family and friends are very important to me. I consider myself to be a loyal friend, daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, etc. I would also say I make a pretty great girlfriend. : )
Now I am going to re-write this so we can all see a more specific profile that will solicit messaging.
I grew up in Basking Ridge, NJ where there was two restaurants in the center of town, 0 chain stores, and Friday night was going to the Bridgewater Mall or going to someone's house. Now, I live in the city and love experimenting on Boqueria's menu or even a good steak at Del Frisco's.
I love concerts and I enjoy going to see Zedd, Kanye West, and his polar opposite Taylor Swift. (Yes, I wish they would make up and go on tour together)
I recently hiked Fort Lee's Historic Park and my bucket list is to climb Machu Picchu. I heard a rumor in the next few years it may not be climbable due to environment changes, anyone know the details around this?
In terms of family, I have Sunday dinner back in Basking Ridge every week and we usually play the card game Rage once every month. My dad almost always wins, I am going to get him one of these days. :)
I also do soul cycle twice a week and then play zog soccer and volleyball year round.
The major differences between these profiles is one tells you who she is, while the 2nd one shows you who the person is with very specific details of what she does.
This is just the beginning in terms of creating a better online dating profile. If you are ready to be a part of the 5% of online daters who are attracting most of the high quality men, Click below for my 100% FREE Video that will walk you through all the steps. (You just need to enter your email for the video)
Of course, selecting the perfect profile picture is still the gatekeeper. If you are ready to entice more men, but specifically the right man click below and then enter your information so you can view my 100% FREE Video on how to create the Perfect Profile, Perfect Message, and the Meet the Perfect "One".
