I have spent over 10 year studying dating, specifically analyzing why men and women get together and most importantly stay together. I would notice couples getting together based on looks, similar interests, similar goals in life, and a multitude of other reasons. However, I soon realized that men and women only stay together when the following three things are present.
I also realized that when women make a man feel these three things, well she will be like a magnet and men in general will come running to be around this person.
Watch the video below to see me describe in detail these three qualities:
These are 3 qualities that men really want to feel from a women:
1. Needed
2. Appreciated
3. Accepted
For years women have been told to play hard to get and the man will chase her. This is terribly wrong. If I am pursuing a woman I am interested in and asked her out 3 -4 times and each time she was unavailable, well I can promise you I am not going to ask her out again because she is clearly not available for dating. No matter how much I like someone, I can't pursue someone that is not available.
But, when you are being yourself and available why do men lose interest?
Men are losing interest because you are not making them feel something on your dates. What does that mean?
Let me break it down into a list:
1. You need to have the top 5 qualities he is looking for in a partner. For example, maybe he wants someone compassionate, good conversationalist, handles problems well, positive attitude, and comes from a big great family. (If he ends up not pursuing you because you don't have his 5, no sweat, maybe he didn't have your 5 either. Onto the next guy)
2. If you are enjoying yourself, make him feel that. How do you do that? I will never forget my 3rd date with my now live in girlfriend. We just spent a day at the beach and were walking back to the car. She said, "This is the best date of my life." I said, "What!? You are Joking?" I remember thinking, I am sure some charming guy must have one upped me with a vacation to the Alps, with a romantic dinner, and maybe even being serenaded by Boys to Men or something spectacular. Quite, frankly to this day I am sure someone in her past must have done something amazing.
But, it doesn't matter, at this point in her head and in my mind that moment forever lives as the best date of her life and mine. At that very moment I felt something. I felt, happy, excited, and successful.
What did all this mean to me?
1. It made me think that I could plan simple dates, be myself, and I can make this woman happy.
2. If it is this easy to make her have the time of her life, maybe she is the right person to spend the rest of my life with because I can be successful with her.
So how can this be used in your life?
If you go on an amazing date, don't be afraid to tell him and definitely don't be afraid to use exponential superlatives. Feel free to say it was the best date of your life. Say this is the best beach you have ever been to. Say, this is the best restaurant I have ever eaten at. These types of statements will heighten situations and allow events to be more fun and more memorable.
Sometimes people are afraid to use all encompassing adjectives but when it comes to fun moments, they can increase fun levels. So if you want your guy to never lose interest, when you have a great date, tell him and be more emphatic about it than any other girl has ever been. When he feels like he has been the only person to provide this amazing of a date, well he will be intrigued by you, want to learn more about you, and most likely try to one up his date next date. I know that happened for me.
On the fourth date I was told that date was now the best date of her life. At this point I was hooked on her personality and the fact that I finally felt a supreme level of success in providing happiness for another person. There was no way I was losing interest from this point forward and guess what, it was just her being herself and making me feel successful. Pretty easy! You can do it too.
Men are visual creatures and certainly find attractive women appealing. But, when it comes to keeping a man, looks have NOTHING to do with it.
So, what skills will keep him coming back for more?
1. Make him feel needed.
Strong, successful, career-oriented women no longer need men. Men were hunters and gatherers, men were providers. The roles have changed and women don't need men to hunt, gather or provide, but, men still want to feel needed. What do I mean by needed?
It can be as simple as asking your man to bring you a glass of water.
You can ask him for advice.
You can ask him to open a jar for you.
If your man doesn't feel needed by you, someone else will surely ask for and appreciate his help.
2. Appreciate Your Man.
Once you have made him feel needed, the next step is to appreciate him for his help. If he takes the garbage out for you, you could say, "You are such a strong man. Thank you for taking the garbage out."
When he does work, he wants to be rewarded for it. If you compliment him or thank him, that is his reward. Notice and acknowledge him helping and it will become contagious.
Advanced Move: Men should compliment women directly. "You look so beautiful tonight, I love how your butt looks in those jeans." Women should compliment men by speaking highly of what they are doing together.
For example, if your guy takes you to dinner, tell him, "What an amazing restaurant this is, my food is fantastic." Your man will love this! It will be as if he cooked your dinner himself and he will feel great for making you happy.
3. Make Him Feel Accepted.
Everybody has weird idiosyncrasies, especially men. Some men need to play video games once week, other men secretly love N'Sync, but in order for a man to stay with a woman forever, he needs to know that whatever he secretly likes or wants to do is 100% accepted by his woman. If he doesn't feel 100% comfortable in his skin around you, I can promise he will eventually head for the hills - at least up there he can act like himself.
There you have it. Make him feel needed, appreciate him, and accept him like no one has before. I promise you, he will never leave your side because you are the only woman with the skills needed to keep him fully captivated.
