I have now been both a panelist and audience member of The Great Love Debate. Brian Howie, the host, who is both wildly entertaining and well informed on the dynamics of the modern dating world proclaims after 200 shows that "women want men to try harder, and men want women to make it easier".
Let me give an example of how women could make it easier.
1. At the end of a great first date, say, "I had an amazing time, I hope I get to see you again."
Why is this important?
After a first date I suggest not reaching out to see if he contacts you to setup a 2nd date. All men are afraid of rejection and some may not ask you on a 2nd date because they may think you had a bad time on the first date. Saying the statement above removes all ambiguity and makes it abundantly clear that you had fun and still allows the man to hunt his woman and setup the 2nd date.
Let me give examples of how men could try harder.
1. Pay for the bill, open the door, pull out a chair, pick a nice/convenient location for 1st date, calling over texting, bring flowers to a date, and compliment on how pretty you look.
Why do some women remain single even after meeting men with the above qualities?
When a man does all the things listed above he is trying really hard and in many cases is looking for a relationship. However, some women will brush all these good qualities aside and refuses a 2nd date because there wasn't instant chemistry.
I do not hate the idea of getting rid of a man for zero chemistry. I actually fully endorse it. However, I hate the idea of doing it after only one date. If a woman banished a man after date 4 or 5 for no chemistry well that is something I can get behind.
To sum everything up, make it easier for men and don't be so quick to toss the good ones back into the dating pool.
This is the 21st century, women are independent. Women are supporting themselves in the workforce. Women are marrying later. Women can do anything a man can do. No one is questioning any of these assertions. But should women still make men feel needed when they don't need them?
In regards to landing and keeping a husband, my answer is 100% yes. If you don't make a man feel needed he is going to be heading for the hills quick.
However, if you don't need him, and maybe he knows it, how do you accomplish making him feel needed?
Let start with the easy ones:
1. Let him fill up your water cup and say "thank you" when he does it (Obviously you can do this yourself, but that "thank you" is going to have him smiling ear to ear and feeling like he CAN do things for you)
2. Ask him for help with anything. Ex: Writing a resume, opening a pickle jar, or even opening the door for you. "Would you mind getting the door for me" ... "Oh you big strong man, thank you." Over the top? You bet it is, but try it and see how big his smile is.
3. Next time he gets you your cell phone, give him a big wet one
4. Grab his arm when walking down the street. "I feel so safe in your arms." Once again, have you ever seen a smile so big?
5. Ask for Advice - I am a man, I don't know why but we LOVE to give advice. I think it makes us feel important, like we are making a difference for another person.
Whoops, there aren't any hard ones, guess you will just have to practice the easy ones. Now go make all the men in your life feel needed even though you are more than capable do everything yourself.
