Online dating, bars, friends, religious groups, the gym. These are all good ways to meet men. However, there must be a great alternative option that gives you an immediate leg up. There is!
My idea is very easy. Find a meetup group, sport, or any activity people meet at that you are not particularly good at and start attending regularly.
Why are you doing this?
Men crave to feel needed by women in a world women RARELY need men.
So how do you accomplish this phenomenon?
Simple, join that Jui Jitsui class. Attempt to learn and when you struggle ask the good looking single guy if he can help you. (Men LOVE giving advice and teaching)
Once he teaches you something, perhaps you catch his eye and then you can get to know each other. If not, you can always try it on the next guy.
Now this idea may seem like a lot of work. Well, it is. So I would suggest picking an activity you would like to learn. Also, manage your expectations. Even if you don't meet a guy, you got your butt out of the house and did something you may have never done. Not to mention, if you stick with this activity, eventually you are going to get good at it. Once you are good at another activity, you are a more well rounded and interesting person.
If a guy gets a date with you via online dating and you tell him you can do jui jitsua, the right guy might be very interested and intrigued.
So basically, you are either getting a date or becoming more attractive to potential suitors. Sounds like a win/win situation.
If you have been cheated on, you have two options, leave the person or stay with them. This decision is a massive one and is extremely difficult to make. In order to help you, I am going to place cheaters into 2 distinct buckets and explain the pros and cons of each so you can make a better decision for your relationship.
Let's talk about why men cheat.
1. Cheating Purely For Physical Pleasure - All cheating is horrible, but if your man cheated simply to get laid, that is better than if he spent time to build an emotional attachment and found another person he cared about.
Men are capable of using sex simply as a release or act of pleasure, no attachment is necessary. If there is zero attachment and he cheated just for physical stimulation, he did something stupid but there may be nothing wrong with your relationship and his emotional needs are being met within the relationship.
But, what about the man who cheats for a different reason?
2. Cheating to Fill an Emotional Need Not Satisfied in Current Relationship - This cheating is the worst. This man is not getting all his emotional needs met within his relationship and decided to look outside the relationship to meet his needs. This means something is missing within the relationship. If you and your guy want to continue both of you need to be abundantly clear what is missing and figure out a game plan to ensure the need is fixed.
Okay, we have deciphered between two types of cheaters.
Should you stay or should you go?
No one can make that decision for you. But some questions to help you figure it out are
:
Will you be able to trust him again? Is he willing to work to re-gain your trust? Is he never going to do this again?
Are you willing to work on the relationship? Is he willing to work on the relationship?
In the future if emotional or physical needs are not being met, when and how will this be discussed? Once discussed, how will it be solved? Is couples therapy an option?
If you can build a plan to move forward, perhaps forgiveness can eventually be offered. However, if you can't build a plan, perhaps separating is best for both parties.
Men are visual creatures and certainly find attractive women appealing. But, when it comes to keeping a man, looks have NOTHING to do with it.
So, what skills will keep him coming back for more?
1. Make him feel needed.
Strong, successful, career-oriented women no longer need men. Men were hunters and gatherers, men were providers. The roles have changed and women don't need men to hunt, gather or provide, but, men still want to feel needed. What do I mean by needed?
It can be as simple as asking your man to bring you a glass of water.
You can ask him for advice.
You can ask him to open a jar for you.
If your man doesn't feel needed by you, someone else will surely ask for and appreciate his help.
2. Appreciate Your Man.
Once you have made him feel needed, the next step is to appreciate him for his help. If he takes the garbage out for you, you could say, "You are such a strong man. Thank you for taking the garbage out."
When he does work, he wants to be rewarded for it. If you compliment him or thank him, that is his reward. Notice and acknowledge him helping and it will become contagious.
Advanced Move: Men should compliment women directly. "You look so beautiful tonight, I love how your butt looks in those jeans." Women should compliment men by speaking highly of what they are doing together.
For example, if your guy takes you to dinner, tell him, "What an amazing restaurant this is, my food is fantastic." Your man will love this! It will be as if he cooked your dinner himself and he will feel great for making you happy.
3. Make Him Feel Accepted.
Everybody has weird idiosyncrasies, especially men. Some men need to play video games once week, other men secretly love N'Sync, but in order for a man to stay with a woman forever, he needs to know that whatever he secretly likes or wants to do is 100% accepted by his woman. If he doesn't feel 100% comfortable in his skin around you, I can promise he will eventually head for the hills - at least up there he can act like himself.
There you have it. Make him feel needed, appreciate him, and accept him like no one has before. I promise you, he will never leave your side because you are the only woman with the skills needed to keep him fully captivated.
