Do you remember when Kobe Bryant cheated on his wife with some 19 year old girl? He was accused of rape, was later found innocent, but was definitely guilty of adultery. Obviously, his wife, and mother of their 6 year old daughter was furious. In order to apologize, Kobe's grand gesture was a 4 million dollar diamond ring. The wife ended up staying with Kobe Bryant.
However, there is a lot more to grand gestures than meets the eye.
I believe in a given year, men and women are both looking for their love interest to accrue 100 points. But, men and women keep score 100% differently than each other.
Women will tally gestures 1 point at a time.
Men will tally gestures anywhere from 1 -20 points at a time.
Thus, when Kobe gave his wife a 4M dollar diamond he only earned 1 point. But, when his wife stayed with him after such a horrible event, I bet she earned 20 points. She had just proved to her man she is not going anywhere and she was going to fight for their family. I am sure this must have meant a lot to Kobe.
Now, how to apply this to your life?
LADIES - Find out what is truly important to your men. If possible find out how you can help him on that matter.
For example, it is really important that I eat healthy throughout the week. I told this to my GF and she came over on a Sunday to help me cook healthy meals for the entire week. (She earned 7 Points for that!)
MEN - What should you do? Little gestures often and consistently. Never Give up.
Your lady wants to know that you care about her. Whether it be a nice text message, little note on her pillow, flowers, chocolates, or after she has a bad interview, words of encouragement. If you really want to be effective, I would suggest learning what your woman's love languages are. Once you know how she wants to be loved you can make sure your gestures are meaningful to her.
One of the biggest complaints my female clients have are guys bombarding them with nude picture requests. That and unwanted penis pictures.
This behavior can be fun and make a relationship more exciting when both parties are comfortable with each other. But in the early stages of dating, a naked photo request puts women in an awkward situation.
On one end you probably don’t want to send a naked picture to someone you're still getting to know. On the other side you don’t want the man to feel rejected.
With that in mind I give you my patented "naked photo" request response:
"I love sending photos but I reserve that fun for men I’m in an exclusive relationship with. Maybe someday that will be you. Until then you’ll have to earn it."
I love this response because men should be rewarded when they perform the behavior you want them to perform.
In this case, you want this man to continue to chase/court you, but in a less sexual fashion—for now. Once he does the preferred behavior of making the relationship exclusive, he will earn the possibility of photos if you feel comfortable.
In general, men need to receive more benefits in a relationship then when they are casually dating. It will motivate them to get into a relationship and eliminate the fear of being committed.
Here are some other ways to intice them:
1. Priority response to texts/phone calls
2. Special sex reserved for monogamy
3. Availability to weekend dates and prime nights; Friday/Saturday Night
4. On demand sex
5. More active role in understanding your man and making him comfortable
6. Cooked meals for the week
7. Love notes
Bottom line is the transition to monogamy should be one of triumph and a better lifestyle together. Not handcuffs and regret. Now go out there and make men throw their hands up in the air in pure happiness to be with you!
During my online dating days, one of my biggest frustrations was communicating electronically with people for extended periods of time.
The back-and-forth messaging went on for days and I was never quite sure if the other person liked me or not. I also wasn’t a very witty or charming writer, which gave people who were a huge advantage over me.
I did feel, however, that I was a personable date once we met face-to-face, so I had to figure out a way to go from chatting online to meeting for the first date quickly.
Here’s how you do it.
(The following advice is strictly for women. My advice for men is entirely different.)
"Thanks for messaging me. (Answer whatever question he asked in 1-2 sentences). I'm not huge on chatting online. I would rather meet in person to see if there's any chemistry. When you get a free moment, let me know if you want to grab a drink sometime?"
This approach may seem a little forward, but it isn’t.
Men love a strong confident woman who goes after what she wants. Don't be timid. If you want to meet a guy, ask him. After the first date, go back to waiting for him to ask you out. That way you quickly figure out if he’s truly interested in you.
On a side note, men hate chatting online too. The reason they do it is because they think most women prefer it. If you take the initiative you’ll make his life better by getting both of you out of digital purgatory and into real world dating.
