Last week I was sitting down with a client to create her online dating profile and we got to the section that said, "What are you doing with your life?"
The answer was Managing Director of an entire division, managing over 500 people. She asked me, "is it okay to put that there?" I said, "100%, yes!"
"But won't I scare men away?" She quickly retorted.
I replied, "I hope so! The man that is right for you will be impressed by your success, and be excited to learn more about you. The guy that is wrong for you, will be intimidated and instead of building you up and pushing you forward will compare his career to yours and feel inadequate."
You can craft an online dating profile that is a total people pleaser and you will receive more messages than everyone else. Or you can create a profile that truly depicts who you are and what you need in a partner and then receive messages from men that want you and are solid contenders for a lifelong partner.
I would suggest the latter because who has time to go on 2000 dates with men that can't handle your success and don't want you for you?
I have now been both a panelist and audience member of The Great Love Debate. Brian Howie, the host, who is both wildly entertaining and well informed on the dynamics of the modern dating world proclaims after 200 shows that "women want men to try harder, and men want women to make it easier".
Let me give an example of how women could make it easier.
1. At the end of a great first date, say, "I had an amazing time, I hope I get to see you again."
Why is this important?
After a first date I suggest not reaching out to see if he contacts you to setup a 2nd date. All men are afraid of rejection and some may not ask you on a 2nd date because they may think you had a bad time on the first date. Saying the statement above removes all ambiguity and makes it abundantly clear that you had fun and still allows the man to hunt his woman and setup the 2nd date.
Let me give examples of how men could try harder.
1. Pay for the bill, open the door, pull out a chair, pick a nice/convenient location for 1st date, calling over texting, bring flowers to a date, and compliment on how pretty you look.
Why do some women remain single even after meeting men with the above qualities?
When a man does all the things listed above he is trying really hard and in many cases is looking for a relationship. However, some women will brush all these good qualities aside and refuses a 2nd date because there wasn't instant chemistry.
I do not hate the idea of getting rid of a man for zero chemistry. I actually fully endorse it. However, I hate the idea of doing it after only one date. If a woman banished a man after date 4 or 5 for no chemistry well that is something I can get behind.
To sum everything up, make it easier for men and don't be so quick to toss the good ones back into the dating pool.
I have been notorious for saying, "If a man wants a woman and there is a 1,000 foot wall between him and that woman, well he is either going to climb that wall or bust right through it." This statement is true for a lot of situations. However, there are times when it is 100% false. There are men out there that have been coined the type B personality (Beta Male) that no matter what happens will never approach a woman. These Beta Males are sometimes the best fathers, best listeners, most fun, and greatest husbands.
However, if these guys are NEVER going to approach you, how do you get to them? Click here for answers.
Well, in online dating, the same problem exists. If you are not the sexiest man alive or the equivalent to Shakespeare writing messages than you may go unnoticed. Thus, there must be a dating app for people with different talents.
Enter Hart, the new dating app for artists. "Hart is a unique way to express yourself so that others can be attracted to your creative side. Upload anything interesting about you into your blank canvas, plus five words to complete the presentation. View what others have created and swipe right to start a conversation by sending a critique-response. No face photos because this is the opportunity to show that you are more than just another pretty face."
I absolutely love this idea and app, especially for women. It has been scientifically proven that if a woman rates the attractiveness of a stranger on a 0-10 scale as X and then falls in love with his personality, his attractiveness can move as much as a full 4 basis points. Thus, a 5 turns into a 9. Meaning telling relationship oriented women to choose men based on looks is about as effective as telling Kim Kardashian to stop posting Instagram photos and expecting a result.
Now, in order to come full circle, Hart Dating App has created an easy way for women to finally get access to the type B guy. This is very exciting because until now there was literally no way to get to them and certainly no great way to get to artists. So download the app, and take your first step to landing the men that most likely have never messaged you on any of your other dating apps.
