Yes. It is my opinion that people can and do make massive changes in a split second. Let me give you an example. Remember last time you had a job that you didn't really like. For awhile you just keep chugging along telling yourself, "It is not that bad."
But eventually something terrible happens, it jolts you like a punch in the gut, and all of a sudden you are at your breaking point and immediately looking for a new job.
Well this exact same phenomenon is going to happen in your dating life and in your love relationships. Sometimes in a relationship you hit a breaking point and decide to break up.
Sometimes you are single and decide, right now I am no longer going to settle for being single.
Well this is something I want to discuss more.
83% of my clients get into a relationship during 6 months of coaching with me. However, what is more interesting to me, is what is the difference between the 83% and the 17%?
Why do the 83% succeed when everyone is giving the exact same strategy?
Since, I HATE losing, and LOVE helping people accomplish their goals I needed an answer so everyone will be successful.
What I realized, is the 17% didn't have the same level of commitment. They didn't say, "I am going to do whatever it takes"
They did say, "I want this badly, and I really want to make it happen"
There is a huge difference between these two mindsets. The women who really want to make it happen, have given themselves an out by "wanting" instead of "needing". They can fail. They won't do anything and everything for it. On the flip side, the 83% are refusing to allow failure to be an option.
So what have we learned so far?
1. You Need a Mindset that says, "I am going to do it, NO MATTER WHAT!"
So other than the mindset, what did the 83% do that the 17% didn't always do:
1. Ensuring 1-2 dates per week no matter what
2. Follow the M,W,FR plan of 30 minutes/day of online dating to re-build the funnel of men
3. Giving men with little chemistry (Initially) and high compatibility at least 4 dates
4. Following the rest of strategy to a T
A good strategy and the right mindset, that is all you need to accomplish any goal that you may have.
Have you ever been present when a couple fights? Was it extremely awkward? I was present for a close friend screaming back and forth with his girlfriend. I remember pondering, "Man, I wonder if these two are going to make it?"
Almost ten years later, they are happily married with a child which begs the question, "How are they solving conflicts now?"
My friend, not a dating expert, psychologist, or anything else relevant gave some pretty damn good advice. Check it out:
1. Stop Drinking Vodka
2. Don't Scream/Curse/Name-Call. It tends to make you the asshole even if you're right about the initial disagreement
3. Take your losses, you don't have to win every fight
4. When apologizing, don't follow with an excuse/explanation. Just Apologize
5. Give both parties time to cool down after a fight. Different people take different amounts of time to get over things.
6. Forgive and accept sincere apologies quickly. Don't be the asshole that holds grudges.
What do you think, good advice? Send me a message and let me know your thoughts.
Story, State and Strategy. Tony Robbins speaks about these Three S's in his book Money: Master The Game and I realized the 3 S's are so relevant to finding love.
Let's get into it.
First, strategy. Let's say you are trying to lose weight. If you are eating ice cream, potato chips, and fried chicken all day it is never going to happen. However, if your friend has lost 80 lbs and has kept it off for years then she probably has a good strategy. All you need to do is emulate what she did.
But, that is probably easier said than done or 70% of Americans wouldn't be considered overweight right?
So, even if I give you the best strategy to meet and keep men, that is only part of the story.
Which leads me to the 2nd S, story. Are you giving yourself a limiting story? "College educated men are 3-1 in my city. All men are liars, just looking to have sex. All the good guys are taken, and so on."
With that story, you are putting yourself into a state that is setup for failure. The story is a self fulfilling prophecy.
However, what if you decided, right now, that you will no longer stand for being single. What if you declared with authority, that you are going to do whatever you need to do to meet the love of your life.
Do you think these statements may change your state? If you have this attitude, do you think it even matters that finding love is hard? No, it doesn't matter because you have committed to doing whatever it takes. You are going to do it!
Takeaway: If you are going to do anything that is difficult, make sure your strategy, state, and story are all aligned for success.
