Do you remember when Kobe Bryant cheated on his wife with some 19 year old girl? He was accused of rape, was later found innocent, but was definitely guilty of adultery. Obviously, his wife, and mother of their 6 year old daughter was furious. In order to apologize, Kobe's grand gesture was a 4 million dollar diamond ring. The wife ended up staying with Kobe Bryant.
However, there is a lot more to grand gestures than meets the eye.
I believe in a given year, men and women are both looking for their love interest to accrue 100 points. But, men and women keep score 100% differently than each other.
Women will tally gestures 1 point at a time.
Men will tally gestures anywhere from 1 -20 points at a time.
Thus, when Kobe gave his wife a 4M dollar diamond he only earned 1 point. But, when his wife stayed with him after such a horrible event, I bet she earned 20 points. She had just proved to her man she is not going anywhere and she was going to fight for their family. I am sure this must have meant a lot to Kobe.
Now, how to apply this to your life?
LADIES - Find out what is truly important to your men. If possible find out how you can help him on that matter.
For example, it is really important that I eat healthy throughout the week. I told this to my GF and she came over on a Sunday to help me cook healthy meals for the entire week. (She earned 7 Points for that!)
MEN - What should you do? Little gestures often and consistently. Never Give up.
Your lady wants to know that you care about her. Whether it be a nice text message, little note on her pillow, flowers, chocolates, or after she has a bad interview, words of encouragement. If you really want to be effective, I would suggest learning what your woman's love languages are. Once you know how she wants to be loved you can make sure your gestures are meaningful to her.
I watched a social experiment on a YouTube where people were asked to rate their success on a scale from 1-10. Most of the scores ranged from 4 - 8. However, when family/friends were asked to rate their loved ones, almost everyone gave a 10. The lowest score was a 9.7.
What did I learn from this video?
I am confident and love myself. But, my loved ones perception of me is always going to be higher than I perceive myself.
How Can This Be Used For Your Benefit?
Most likely your perception of your loved ones is extremely high. You would probably rate their success a 10. Along the same lines of that, you probably think they have other amazing qualities. For example, smart, kind, funny, thoughtful and so on.
Since you perceive your loved one in such high regard, I propose a massive paradigm shift in the way you view arguments.
Arguments
Next time you get into a small tiff with a loved one and they offer their stance which is 180 degrees different than yours, assume they are 100 percent right.
What!?
What if they tell you, "gravity is not 9.8 m/s²"
It doesn't matter. If you believe the person is a 10. Maybe he/she is right about gravity. For the rest of the conversation, since you know your loved one is smart, kind, funny, thoughtful and so on, assume he/she is 100% right on this issue. Argue his/her point.
See what happens?
Would you rather be right in an argument that doesn't matter or would you rather be spending time together doing something fun?
The first step to finding a person to love is loving yourself. The key to that, in my opinion, revolves around being happy most of the time and finding balance between the 6 major pillars of Happiness.
6 Pillars of Happiness
Why do you need balance?
A person with balance always has multiple pillars to lean on when one isn't doing well. Of course some pillars are more important than others. But as long as you have balance in your life, you will be able to positively look to a different pillar when another one is imploding.
How does this relate to finding love?
Men are attracted to women who have it together. When a man sees a woman who is educated, healthy, has an active social life, is spiritually in tune with the world and has a good career, he will fall all over himself to pursue her.
I know at times we can all be pulled towards one pillar or another and focus solely on that. But try to maintain balance in 2016. It will make you happier, help you love yourself and in turn make others more attracted to you.
