Let me paint the scene. It is Saturday night, your girlfriends and you have an 8PM restaurant reservations, you all get there at 7:00 to grab a cocktail at the bar. The clock hits 7:30 when Mr. Suave himself meanders over to the group and with open arms says the following: "Excuse me ladies, I am sorry to interrupt but I couldn't help but notice your beautiful friend. Would you mind if I borrow her for a quick conversation?"
The group agrees to let her chat, the beautiful woman speaks with Mr. Suave for 20 minutes and then proceeds to give suave her number. Mr. Suave does one of a few things with this number.
1. He calls and sets up a date (sometimes just with the end goal of getting laid)
2. He gets so many numbers every week he forgets about you and the number
Now, Mr. Suave is what we call the modern day alpha male. The alpha male is a guy who can approach any woman, not be nervous/scared, and rarely will have trouble obtaining a date. Now, I don't want to over generalize, but any economics student will have to agree with the following logic. The alpha male either has or is capable of having many options. With many options, the alpha male may be less interested in settling with one woman. Thus, it may behoove women to be careful with the alpha male.
However, the reformed alpha male/player is a great catch. The reformed player did extremely well with women, however, he has finally grown up and now realizes he wants the real deal, LOVE and MONOGAMY. One caveat, put the reform player to the test, do not have sex with him until of course you are ready but also until he is willing to commit to you and no one else. This should help prove that he truly has changed and is not simply adding another notch to his belt.
Now how about the beta male. The beta male is NOT going to come approach you at the restaurant. However, there is a good chance from the get go this man is only looking for monogamy. The beta male is most likely not frequently going on dates but does want to find the right woman to end his difficult search.
However, at least initially most woman are much more attracted to the alpha male than the beta male. This is only logical, of course women want prince charming to approach them and sweep them of their feet. However, more times than not, the alpha male will deliver on providing up front lust and initial butterflies but will not stick around to offer the fairy tale ending.
So what does this mean, do women need to change their wiring and find ways to get to beta male instead of settling for the alpha male that approaches? If they want love and monogamy, the answer may be yes.
Which brings me to how to get the beta male or any man that will not approach you:
1. Wave at the guy you are interested in to come over (This is a no brainer and works like a charm. Do this! It works, I swear!)
2. Just go talk to him (he will be flattered)
3. Ask a guy to take a picture of you and your friends OR Ask a guy for advice EX: What muffin do you suggest here? Which vodka is the best? (This is my least favorite method because, the guy even if he is interested may walk away because he may think you just wanted advice, not to be pursued)
I am not a subtle person and I am true believer that simple is best. If you like a person, tell them. If they like you, we have a match, if they don't like you, go tell someone else you like them. Do this over and over again until you found the person you can't live without and the feeling is mutual.
Your Dating Coach,
Mike
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A few months ago I was in Aspen Market buying some groceries when I saw the most stunning woman, possibly in the Greater New York City Area. She was about 5'7, long straight brown hair, beautiful blue eyes (I think? I am color blind) and a very fit athletic body. I was attempting to focus on picking out ripe tomatoes but she truly caught my attention.
Anyway, I remained determined to finish my shopping and I got some squash and broccoli and walked right by her while she was intently looking for salsa.
Five minutes later I circled back around and realized I needed salsa. Amazingly enough she was still looking for some. I started thinking, beautiful and determined to find the best salsa on the planet, this was my kind of girl! Now there was no way I was not going to talk to her.
I stood next to her but a few feet away, both of us facing the salsa and I confidently asked "So which Salsa is the best?"
The beautiful burnette replied "Don't hold me to this, but I am getting this one" as she pointed to yada-yada salsa. I immediately grabbed that salsa and said, "Sold, I am sure it will be amazing"
At this point, she started wandering off and I let her go as it seemed she was in a rush.
Why did I tell you this long winded story about a girl I didn't get the number of? Because men and women alike miss thousands if not millions of opportunities to meet people during the day while at the grocery store, the morning commute, at a museum, and so on.
Today I will give you some tools to approach anyone.
Please take in mind, the approach I am about to teach is the most nerve wrecking but definitely the most rewarding once you get over the FEAR of actually doing it!
Ok Ladies and Gentleman, Here We Go! (Both Men and WOMEN should do this)
If you see someone you are interested in, go up to them and tell them exactly what caught your eye.
For example, I should have said the following to the blonde.
"Excuse me"
"Yes?"
"You are absolutely beautiful" (Speaking slowly and confidently, making eye contact, and going dead silent right when I finish)
Let the compliment marinate, stare at the person and see how he/she responds.
I have tried this method between myself and my clients thousands of times. There are two results. One, the person is flattered and wants to chat with you, and hopefully conversation ensues and numbers are exchanged. Two, the person is flattered but not interested because he/she has a gf,bf, not attracted to you, having a bad day, and various other reasons.
HOWEVER, even the not interested person results in a HUGE SMILE and a very gracious recipient 9 times out of 10. Thus, I refuse to consider this a failure, but merely a person going out of their way to compliment a stranger that hopefully makes that person feel great for a moment or even a day.
Anyway, please try this out and let me know if I am correct that there is only 2 responses to this "pick up" line.
Happy Dating,
Mike Goldstein
