You are at a bar when all of a sudden a charming, well put together man approaches you and starts engaging in conversation. At first, you are skeptical but after 10 minutes you realize this guy is charming and seems to have good intentions. 10 minutes later you start to like the guy and are wondering if he feels the same way about you.
Which leads us to, what are some signs to know if he likes you instantly?
1. Is he finding reasons to drift closer to you?
When a man finds you enchanting, he will literally start gravitating towards you and slowly inch closer. He may not even realize he is doing it, but it is a good sign.
2. In conversation does he offer up information you didn't ask for?
He is telling you new information to either impress you, make you feel safe, or at least get you to like him/think he is a nice guy.
3. If conversation dies down, does he re-initiate?
He will leave if not interested
4. Touching
Is he looking for reasons to touch you, whether it be the smallest thing, on the arm, middle of the back, or maybe even grazing legs or touching hands. He wants to make physical contact because he is into you.
If these four signs are in place, he is definitely interested in you.
I have spent years studying online dating and perfecting the process of selecting photos and writing profiles that reflect exactly who you are so the right people send and respond to your messages. This aspect of my business has been wildly successful and makes up the majority of my client's relationships. However, it has always troubled me when single people/clients relied solely on online dating to find someone to date.
They are missing out on various other ways to meet people. Specifically, meeting people in person. Historically, women when they were interested in someone, would stare, maybe smile and hope the guy would come over and chat. To date, this is considered the best "mouse trap" for getting men.
However, based on my studies I have seen this work about 5 - 8% of the time. Thus 95 to 92% of the time the guy never approaches. I am sorry, but staring is NOT the best mouse trap if the best it can do is get an 8% success rate. Do you agree?
So a few years ago, I racked my brain for something simple that would warrant action from men. Boom! Here it is!
WAVE AT THE GUY!
Now before you think I am crazy, let me explain. If you wave, it forces him to do something. He can either cower in the corner, smile, or wave back. If you want, you can then wave for him to come over.
Why is this fantastic?
1. Shows you are confident (Confidence is rated the #1 Sexiest Characteristic of the Opposite Sex)
2. Men are afraid of rejection - This removes this fear and communicates you 100% would like to be approached
What are the results of the wave?
85% of wavers get a reaction. I am not saying 85% is favorable. But, 85% of the time the waver knew where she stood with the guy based on his reaction.
You can do this at a bar, at the grocery store, on public transit, literally everywhere. If you are shy and scared, try and get over it. This will work. Try New Things. I have tried this thousands of times, via myself, clients, and friends, it is leaps and bounds more successful than the stare.
Have some fun, wave at a stranger, be playful, and have a conversation and see if you have some similar interests. (At a minimum you at least know you are attracted to the person)
Okay, no more reading, Go Get'em Tiger!
December has rolled around. Unlike 2014 the weather has been absolutely gorgeous. Fall has actually felt like Fall and here in the greater New York City area we are still gallivanting outside and have not yet went into hibernation.
Nice weather means more people out and about. Not to mention, December means Holiday Parties. If you are anything like me, being single during the holiday can be very lonely. (Fortunately I have a GF this year) However, nothing can keep you warm like the hope of a promising new love interest in your life. So in this article, I am going to give you all the tools you need to approach, meet, build a spark, and even close a phone number with that cute guy at the holiday party.
Step 1
Talk to him.
I know, we have all heard it before, men approach women. Blah, Blah, Blah. This theory is terrible and in the words of Mr. Wonderful from Shark Tank, "Take it behind the Barn and Shoot It!"
If you want a man this holiday season, GO TALK TO HIM!
Since I am a man, and can honestly say I am very rarely hit on, but the times that I am, I am ecstatic! The woman just made my life so much easier! I didn't have to think of something to say. I didn't have to pretend I could read her signals and know if she wanted to talk to me or not. Nope, none of it. She talked to me! Simply Amazing!
Ladies, wondering what to say. KISS - Keep It Simple Stupid
Say, "Hi, What is your name?" OR "Hi, How are you?"
No! There are no other openers worth learning. That is it!
Go from there. If the energy is good and the conversation flows, enjoy your new friend.
If it doesn't seem like he is interested, "It was great meeting you, I am going to get back to my friends, chat with you later maybe."
Now, if the conversation wasn't great, it doesn't mean you shouldn't give this person a second chance later in the evening. If you are walking by, feel free to stop by, say hi again and give it another try if you want. (Sometimes people are not expecting to make a new friends and aren't prepared for a stimulating conversation OR they are in a bad mood) Maybe the 2nd go around will be better.
Step 2
"I asked him his name now what?"
We have all been there. We just met a new person and all of sudden neither party has anything to say. The conversation goes silent, awkward, and maybe even uncomfortable.
Alright ladies, I am going to teach you how to resolve the awkward silence with an extremely advanced skill that is very counterintuitive so brace yourselves.
Now, since you approached the man, did the hard part as far as I am concerned. It is his time, to man up and keep the conversation going, especially if he is interested in you.
What I want you to do is stare at him and keep staring for 5 seconds and maybe even give him a gesture as if to lip sync the words "Sooooooooo"
This should force him to break the silence and ask a question or form some sort of a sentence to keep the conversation going.
However, if for some reason he has nothing to say I would have a few canned questions at your disposal.
1. Where are you originally from?
2. What do you do for work?
3. Are you enjoying the party?
I am usually willing to give people the stare twice in a conversation, if they won't be active members in our conversation, I will use the closing from earlier and politely excuse myself.
Step 3
How to Exchange Phone Numbers!
"Well, it has been great talking to you. I wish there was a way that we could see each other again..." Stare at him, bat the eyelashes, do whatever you wonderful creatures do.
He should ask for your number at this point. If for some reason this guy is brain dead, unfortunately many of the relationship oriented men are. Just go for it, "Would you like to exchange numbers?"
There you have ladies, Bingo Bango, You just landed a promising phone number at your Holiday Party. You go Girl!
Happy Holidays.
Your Dating Coach,
Mike
If you would like me to write an article about a specific topic, please leave some suggestions below. Or, if you ARE READY to ramp up your dating Life and GET YOUR MAN RIGHT NOW, email me to setup a time at to Chat for FREE.
I can be reached at datingcoachmike@gmail.com OR if you want to make life easier just book some time on my calendar at https://mikegoldstein.youcanbook.me/
Looking forward to learning about you and your dating life!
