There comes a time in many a woman's life where she no longer dates just to date. She knows what she wants and doesn't want to waste her makeup, give up her Saturday nights, or lose her beauty sleep until she finds it. She might date less in her search for happily-ever-after or she might date more in order to win at what she considers a numbers game. One thing is for sure: She doesn't want dating to be a boring process. She wants it to be fun! As a professional matchmaker who is spent countless hours getting date feedback from clients, I am certain that "fun" sometimes requires coming up with new date ideas.
Here are five worth considering................
The Breakfast/Brunch Date: Meet your date for breakfast or even better—brunch on a Sunday! I know some people think this is unromantic or something to do with your girlfriends, but for a first date, I think it is perfect. I mean, don’t get me wrong: I am totally game for getting all dressed up and going to a fancy restaurant for dinner. (And most women I know are too--for the right guy.) But there is also something very down to earth and refreshing about having eggs with someone, walking around a bit after, and getting on with your day! Of course, if you really hit it off and you live in a NYC or another city with an abundance of cool brunch parties-like those at Bagatelle or Zuma-you can stay and dance the day away.
The Improv Show: If you firmly believe in the adage that regards laughter as the best medicine, chances are you've had a date at a comedy club. While this old standby-with its two drink minimum-can be really fun, why not switch it up and try an improv show? Sometimes, when people aren't trying (as hard) to be funny, they are simply hysterical!
The Dinner Theater: Dinner and a movie just got an upgrade! After recently attending a dinner theater experience at Machiavelli's House in Tuscany-yes, the Machiavelli; yes, in Italy- I am convinced that dinner theater has the potential to be the best date ever! The food, the wine, the music, the scenery, and the audience participation make for a magical experience. Yes, it is hard to beat Tuscany, but you can try this in a city near you!
The Sporting Event: Sporting events are great for the early stages of dating, because guys feel comfortable in these venues. Whether you are out a baseball game, polo match, or the US Open, there is opportunity to have a lighthearted and fun time in a casual setting--complete with food, drinks, and excitement! Its never a bad idea to go somewhere where you can just let your hair down and enjoy getting to know each other.
The Class: The couple who learns together stays together! Whether you want to take a cooking class, trapeze lesson, or one of those pottery-making over wine classes that is springing up everywhere, you are sure to have a good time. Learning a new activity can be just the bonding experience you need to ignite a match or rekindle a flame. And, hey, even if it doesn't turn out to be a romantic connection, you just learned a new skill that made it worth your while.
Want to share a fun new date idea? Send me your favorites at Rachel@RachelRusso.com
About Your Author
Rachel Russo, MS, MFT is a Matchmaker, Dating & Relationship Coach, Author & Speaker. She has a master’s degree in Marriage & Family Therapy from Iona College, a BA in Psychology from Rutgers University, and a certification as an Intentional Relationship Coach. Rachel is the founder of Rachel Russo Relationships-a NYC-based dating and relationship consultancy-and has worked as a matchmaker for eleven years. Rachel is the author of two books: A Fab Job Guide To Become A Matchmaker and How To Get Over Your Ex: A Step By Step Guide To Mend A Broken Heart Italian American Style. Rachel has pretty much earned her PhD in men—many thanks to a reality-date-a-thon in which she went on ninety-two dates in one year and blogged about them.
More about Rachel at www.RachelRusso.com
--
In this life we know two things for sure. Your time on earth is limited and you will pay taxes. In today's article we are going to focus on time, more specifically how you can optimize your time so if you want to get married you are not wasting energy on men who are NOT right for you.
So how are you going to do this?
Let's discuss your first date strategy. Some women are going on first dates, keeping conversation PC, and hoping to get out of there with a guy that is intrigued, but not really getting or giving much information. Well, if you are serious about optimizing your love life this is not going to cut it.
A great first date should be light and fun but at the same time start answering many if not most of your questions on whether your date could potentially be a life partner.
Now, I am sure most of you are reading this and thinking I am crazy, and quite frankly you may be right. But, the reason I am coming off crazy is because most people don't realize they can get the information they need from their 1st date in a light and still fun first date way.
Let me show you:
My 5 Needs
1. Takes bad situations in stride - Positive attitude
2. Healthy Lifestyle
3. Can handle social situations / Not need me by her side the whole time
4. Challenges me/Supports me - Be able to learn from each other
5. Independent
So how do I figure out if my date has these qualities: (Numbers Correspond to the Numbers Above)
1. Ask person about their job? Are they excited or say something positive about their work? It is okay to not like your job but it is nice to hear some redeeming qualities about an activity that takes up so much time in a person's life.
2. What are your favorite foods? If answer is something unhealthy, ask, is that a cheat meal or is that your go to daily? Also, say, "you have a great body, what do you do to stay in shape?"
3. This may come in date 5, date 8, or maybe even later. But eventually you will want to bring someone to an event or to meet friends/family. Does your date need to cling onto you or can he mingle on his own?
4. Talk about what you do for work. Are they excited to ask you questions and learn more about what you do?
5. Ask, "What do you do for fun? What do you and your friends do together?" If your date has a big social life, doing a lot of activities he will probably want to maintain them even after you combine lives.
Yes. It is my opinion that people can and do make massive changes in a split second. Let me give you an example. Remember last time you had a job that you didn't really like. For awhile you just keep chugging along telling yourself, "It is not that bad."
But eventually something terrible happens, it jolts you like a punch in the gut, and all of a sudden you are at your breaking point and immediately looking for a new job.
Well this exact same phenomenon is going to happen in your dating life and in your love relationships. Sometimes in a relationship you hit a breaking point and decide to break up.
Sometimes you are single and decide, right now I am no longer going to settle for being single.
Well this is something I want to discuss more.
83% of my clients get into a relationship during 6 months of coaching with me. However, what is more interesting to me, is what is the difference between the 83% and the 17%?
Why do the 83% succeed when everyone is giving the exact same strategy?
Since, I HATE losing, and LOVE helping people accomplish their goals I needed an answer so everyone will be successful.
What I realized, is the 17% didn't have the same level of commitment. They didn't say, "I am going to do whatever it takes"
They did say, "I want this badly, and I really want to make it happen"
There is a huge difference between these two mindsets. The women who really want to make it happen, have given themselves an out by "wanting" instead of "needing". They can fail. They won't do anything and everything for it. On the flip side, the 83% are refusing to allow failure to be an option.
So what have we learned so far?
1. You Need a Mindset that says, "I am going to do it, NO MATTER WHAT!"
So other than the mindset, what did the 83% do that the 17% didn't always do:
1. Ensuring 1-2 dates per week no matter what
2. Follow the M,W,FR plan of 30 minutes/day of online dating to re-build the funnel of men
3. Giving men with little chemistry (Initially) and high compatibility at least 4 dates
4. Following the rest of strategy to a T
A good strategy and the right mindset, that is all you need to accomplish any goal that you may have.
