Moving in with a significant other is a huge milestone for any couple, and may spark some unwanted stress and anxiety. Tough discussions will need to be had, and adjusting to time spent together more often than not will need to find a healthy balance. This should be an exciting moment with your partner, and knowing the right steps to ensure it goes smoothly can make all the difference. That is why we have compiled some helpful tips to ease you into cohabiting so you can enjoy this wonderful new chapter together.
Finances
Having a discussion about finances can be a difficult topic to approach, but it’s important to be upfront and honest. With rent or mortgage payments as a possibility, you will need to find a way to fairly split the cost, as well as establish a budget when looking for a new space. Understand each other's spending habits, and current financial health, as well as income, so spending can take higher or lower salaries into consideration. Especially if you plan on combining your finances and living on a shared income. You can then determine a budget that accommodates rent, weekly groceries and essentials, and other costs, so money never becomes stressful or put a strain on your relationship.
Combining Belongings
Moving in together can be a good time to sort through your belongings and donate, sell, or let go of anything you no longer need or want. Combining two households means having two of everything, so decide on which items should stay and move to your new space, and which items can go. Be sure to take your partner's feelings into consideration when it comes time to sort through the more sentimental items, and find a way to make space for the more important things. When everything is sorted, go to your local Goodwill to donate your gently used items, or have a sale to earn a little extra money to be put towards new appliances or furniture for your new shared space. Sorting through and organizing can be tedious, but make this part of the moving process fun and a way to get to know each other just a little more.
Designing Your Space
When it comes time to design your space together, there can be some arguments if you have clashing tastes. Take to sites like Pinterest and Instagram to get some inspiration, and narrow down a few designs that you both like and find a way to make them a cohesive style. Or, give each other one space to make their own, so that each of your designs are represented. Designing a home together should be fun, and you don’t have to agree on everything. Just be sure to find a balance, and communicate with your partner to come to a common design ground. Then get to work styling your new space!
Finding Alone Time
When living with your partner, it can be hard to find some time apart. It’s healthy for couples to have space from each other to explore their own interests and hobbies, and sometimes the confines of living together can limit that. Be sure to talk to your partner about your schedule and plan a routine that allows for some personal time. You can even go as far as to pick separate areas in your home to designate as your area to unwind. Create a reading nook fit with a comfy reading chair, or an at-home game lounge with a pool table, foosball, darts, and of course a gaming system to play all of your favorite video games. No matter what you choose to fill your room with, it can be your separate sanctuaries to relax and recharge, and spend a little time to yourselves in the process.
Planning for the future
Now that you share a home, planning for the future will be talk that may need to be had. Taking the less traditional route, most modern couples are moving in together before marriage. This can be the ultimate test to see if you are compatible, and it can act as a test run to work out any problem areas before saying “I do.” With marriage being the end goal for a lot of couples, there will need to be discussions surrounding future financial goals, and if the home you choose is the one you plan on staying in long term. This helps to start setting money aside for your future plans and in the decision making process when picking your living space. Try to find ways to align your home buying choices to match your future life together. That way when it comes time to buy an engagement ring of your partner's dreams, you can do so knowing you are prepared for the next exciting chapter of your lives together.
The short answer is…compatibility! Even though many of us know this to be true, people find themselves searching for the excitement of good chemistry. If you are looking for a long-term relationship, chemistry will make it fun but it’s your compatibility that will make it last. What you need to do is look for the compatibility and let the chemistry grow if it isn’t there right away.
There was a scientific study done where women rated men’s attractiveness based solely upon a photograph. The women would then meet the men, talk to them, and rate them again. What happened time and time again was the score would go up or down depending on if the women liked their personalities. It was concluded that women could change their score up to 4 points depending on if they enjoyed their conversations. How can you use this fact in your everyday life? When you meet a man that you are not necessarily attracted to, don’t write him off right away. Give it some time and see if their personality will make them more attractive to you.
In the video below, EZ Dating Coach, Mike Goldstein, tells us a story about his client, Isabella. After going on a date with a man named Nick, she told Mike that she had a good time but she didn’t feel any chemistry. She thought Nick was smart and she loved talking to him but she just wasn’t attracted to him. Mike suggested that she give him another shot. After going on a bunch of dates with Nick, Isabella called Mike and told him that Nick is the sexiest man alive! She gave him a chance and boy did it pay off! The two have been together ever since and they have been happily married since 2017.
The moral of the story is that it’s ok if you don’t feel instant chemistry with a guy. If you enjoy spending time together, give the guy a shot and let the chemistry build. If the compatibility is there, that will give the relationship the solid foundation that it needs to stand the test of time. It’s ok if the chemistry isn’t there right off the bat. Give it a little time and see what happens.
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