Everyone wants to find love and it is frustrating when you go on a bunch of dates but you can't seem to find someone that you truly connect with. You don't have to go to the bar every night, hoping that you'll find him. You don't have to go on awful dates with men who just are not what you're looking for. You can find a quality man who is right for you!
So, where do you find this quality man? The first step is not a matter of the right place or the right time. It is finding the clarity inside of yourself. You have to figure out what is important to you and not let any decisions be rushed and forced from a needy or desperate place. Don't look for a soul mate. Look for someone who you will have fun with. You want to create a series of positive dating experiences. This provides the nourishment that you need to help you be patient when finding the right guy.
Check out this video for more information on this topic from John Gray, the author of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus":
Once you take the time to figure out what you need, you can figure out what qualities are important to you. This can be anything from financial stability to personality traits and interests. You want to have things in common but it is the differences that creates the magnetism. Similar interest are great because you can enjoy doing things together but having different interests is important, too. You can share these interests with each other, introducing new and interesting things to one another. You can also do these activities separately, giving each other a little healthy space. Plus you know what they say... Opposites attract!
The thing that initially draws a lot of women to their perspective partner is looks. Keep in mind that you don't have to be physically attracted to a man right away. The attraction can grow over time. In fact, welcoming the attention of someone that you aren't necessarily attracted to and letting him pursue you puts you in "The Safety Zone". He wants you more than you want him, he earns his way to your heart, and then you attach to him and you want him.
One of EZ Dating Coach, Mike's, clients came to him because she was sick of going on bad date after bad date. She was only dating men that she was physically attracted to and she was feeling like a failure when none of these relationships made it past the first or second date. All of her friends were getting married and she was feeling lonely and depressed. She told Mike that she could not take one more night of the bar scene. He helped her to take a step back and not put so much pressure on everything. He suggested that she put herself in new and interesting places and situations. She decided to join a running group. She met a man that seemed kind and compassionate and who enjoyed being in nature, 3 qualities that were really important to her. Men love to help and teach you things! New to running, my friend reached out to the man for advice and they really hit it off. They've been happily dating ever since and they just bought a house together!
The most important thing to remember is that you have to follow your heart and your intuition. Don't put pressure on yourself and don't try to change yourself to fit the mold of what you think they perfect guy is looking for. Be yourself. Be confident and brave. Try new things. Venture outside of your comfort zone. You will find a quality guy and he will be the perfect guy for you!
Wondering if you would be a good fit for coaching with EZ Dating Coach? Book A complimentary 15 minute strategy session HERE and find out. Let's get you a high quality man that will be yours forever.
While at work, a woman is on her male side and she is forced to suppress her emotions all day. Because all of these emotions are bottled up, when she gets home, the tiniest issue can seem huge and overwhelming. The most damaging thing that a woman can do in a relationship is take all of her stress and frustration out on her partner.
One of EZ Dating Coach, Mike's, friends experienced this issue last year. She was dealing with a lot of stress at work and she and her boyfriend were arguing a lot. It wasn't until Mike helped her take a step back that she realized why they were fighting so often. She was unloading all of the stress of her day onto her boyfriend. She was upset about a lot of things that she encountered during the day but she wasn't able to express any emotions at work. When she got home, after everything built up inside, any little thing would trigger an angry response. A few dirty dishes in the sink would cause her to completely lose it. Her boyfriend felt attacked and judged and even when she wasn't yelling at him, the tension was enough to drive a wedge between them.
There are ways that both women and men can combat these issues. I outlined steps that a woman can take to help change a man's negative behavior through positive actions in my "Instead of Complaining, How Can You Get Men To Change Their Behavior?" blog post. Essentially, when you notice a negative behavior, like being messy... detach from trying to change him, do something that makes you happy, give him the acceptance and trust that he needs, ask for his help, and show him appreciation. Following these steps will help you to calm down and relax and it will help him change the negative behavior through positive reinforcement.
Men can help by being patient, understanding, and supportive. Let your girlfriend know that you are there to listen. If you can't think of any advice to give, DON'T PANIC! You don't have to solve her problems. Just being there and listening is enough. Another way to help is to let her anger pass and don't fuel the fire by having a negative response. Getting angry or defensive will only make things escalate.
Love each other, listen to each other, and stay cool. You'll be one step closer to having this love thing all figured out!
Check out this video for more information on this topic from John Gray, the author of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus":
Wondering if you would be a good fit for coaching with EZ Dating Coach? Book A complimentary 15 minute strategy session HERE and find out. Let's get you a high quality man that will be yours forever.
Many women find themselves relying too heavily on their partners for their happiness. In "Why Mars and Venus Collide", John Gray explains that 90% of a woman's happiness needs to come from herself and the remaining 10% should come from her partner. This is called "The 90/10 Rule". Think of it like this: Your life is your main course and your man is your dessert! Dessert is a part of your meal, some might even say it's one of the best parts, but you need your main course to nourish and sustain you.
Check out this video for more insights on this topic, straight from John Gray himself!
One of EZ Dating Coach, Mike's, friends recently reached out to him in a panic. She was worried that she was pushing her boyfriend away by being too clingy. She felt like she needed to be with him all day, every day. Her happiness completely depended upon him and she felt lost without him whenever they were apart. She feared that she was smothering him and making him crazy. She was also troubled by the thought that she couldn't be happy if he wasn't near. She had always considered herself to be a very independent, self-reliant woman. Why was she feeling this way? Why was she acting this way?
Mike explained to his friend that if all of your happiness completely relies upon your partner, it's only a matter of time before you cross the line into stage 5 clinger territory! If you think that the only way for you to be happy is for you to be with your man, of course you are going to hold on for dear life. This is a very common issue and it is very unhealthy for you or your relationship.
There needs to be space in a relationship for you both to grow. You will grow separately as people and you will grow together as a couple. You will feel fulfilled, not just in your relationship, but in your own life, too. It will also benefit you by allowing your independence and strength to shine. These attractive qualities will also strengthen your relationship with your man. Mike taught his friend the 90/10 Rule and things have been great with her and her relationship ever since!
So, how does the 90/10 Rule work? You need to find balance and happiness within yourself. Do things that make you happy. Spend time with friends or enjoy some time working on a project or hobby. You won't just strengthen your bonds with your friends, you will strengthen your knowledge of who you are and what you need.
Now that you know what you need, you have to listen to these needs. You have to take care of yourself and you have to treat yourself. Many people are afraid of being alone. Once you realize that being alone doesn't have to feel lonely, you will allow yourself to enjoy the peace that only alone time can bring. It gives you a chance to relax and decompress. Give the 90/10 Rule a try and learn to rely on yourself for the majority of your happiness. You will notice benefits all around!
Wondering if you would be a good fit for coaching with EZ Dating Coach? Book A complimentary 15 minute strategy session HERE and find out. Let's get you a high quality man that will be yours forever.
