When a woman is facing an issue and she needs to talk, sometimes it's hard to know where she should turn. Should she reach out to her significant other or should she reach out to her girlfriends? The answer is...both! When women share with men, they strengthen their pair bond and they feel connected. When women share with other women, they strengthen their social bond and they feel understood. You might be surprise to learn that the day of her cycle actually has a lot to do with it, too. Check out the video below to hear more insights on this topic from John Gray, the author of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus".
The differences between men and women are vast and endless. We have different bodies, life experiences, societal expectations and pressures...The list goes on and on. Even our greatest attempts to understand what our partners are going through can be an exercise in futility. This can make communication a challenging and frustrating endeavor. Our differences are often looked at as a negative thing but they can actually be quite wonderful. These differences make things more interesting and allow us to gain new perspectives on things. A man and a woman could look at the same situation and see different ways of dealing with it. If your partner is struggling with something, sharing your unique take on it can really help to resolve the issue. Sometimes, all it takes is a fresh set of eyes, looking at the problem different angle.
During the 5 days around ovulation, women are better off sharing with a man instead of sharing with other women. When women share with each other, they can relate to each other and offer caring and understanding words of support. This is important and beneficial on many levels. So why is it particularly important to share with a man instead during those 5 days. When a woman shares with a man who cannot relate to what it's like to be a woman, it gives her a boost knowing that she connected with someone who is different from her. To bridge the gap, she has to clearly articulate and explain her feelings to the man. When they connect, or better yet, when he helps her to resolve the issue, this is great for pair bonding. She feels loved and supported and she appreciates his help and he feels happy knowing that he could help her.
Now that we learned why it is important for women to talk to their men, let's learn why it is important for women to talk to their female friends. Women have similar experiences and face a lot of the same issues so they can often offer great advice. Even if they don't have any advice to offer, just letting the woman know that she isn't alone can be very reassuring. She's been there...she's been through that...she understands... This can be very helpful and encouraging.
Women sharing with other women is not only a great way for a woman to receive support and resolve her issues, it is also great for social bonding. We've learned that during the 5 days around ovulation, it is better for the woman to reach out to a man for advice. During the other 18 days of the month, it is better for her to reach out to other women. It helps to lower her testosterone and increase her estrogen. Talking with friends and doing things for herself will then increase her progesterone, making her feel better. She doesn't only feel understood, supported, and heard by confiding in other women. She physically feels better due to the changes in her hormones.
So, when a woman needs to talk, who should she turn to? Men and women, especially on particular days, can both offer a lot of help and benefits. Her significant other will be able to offer unique insights and her female friends will be able to understand what she's going through. Talking to a man will lead to her feeling more connected to him and talking to her female friends will lead to an increase in Progesterone, making her feel better. Either way, reaching out and talking to men and women will lighten the load, lift her spirits, and help her get through negative situations and feelings.
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Men and women have both masculine and feminine powers. We need to draw from these powers correctly in order to find happiness. Like so many things in life, it's all about balance.
The male or masculine power is confidence, motivation, endurance, strength, and everything that you need to get things done by yourself. It gives you the tools to accomplish tasks, achieve goals, and reach success.
How can women use their male power? Women use their male power at work or when they encounter something that they need to accomplish themselves. Women will find great success by using their male power but to feel lasting joy and love, they should draw from the female power more often than their male power.
The female or feminine power draws others to you, helping you accomplish your goals and get what you need from others. Unlike the male power, when you use the collaborative female power, you utilize help from others instead of accomplishing a goal on your own.
How can men use their female power? Men use their female power in many situations to help them get what they need. This can be anything from getting their team at work to help them get things done to choosing to have more room and comfort by flying first class. Men need to be able to go to their female side without suppressing their male side. As a man, you should prioritize your male power and use your female power to support it.
If you balance your male and female power, you will find happiness in many aspects of life. This yin yang of energy will help you to excel at everything from your relationships to your job to your inner happiness.
John Gray, the author of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus", discusses this topic in the video below:
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Our words and actions can have a huge effect on our relationships. Men might seem strong but we can be very sensitive and vulnerable at times. It is important to try be conscious of this when you are talking to a man. Even words that are meant in good fun can take a toll on our self esteem. EZ Dating Coach, Mike Goldstein, recently experienced this first hand. To combat seasonal depression, Mike decided to take Brazilian jiu-jitsu classes and he was excited to share this news with my friends at a party. In front of everyone, his girlfriend's friend told him that if they wrestled, she could totally kick his butt. He was really taken back by this comment. It made him uncomfortable and it seemed like it made everyone around them uncomfortable, too.
Mike has a great sense of humor and he is a huge advocate of equal rights for everyone. So why did this joke bother him so much? On a psychological and emotional level, when a women competes with a man, especially an alpha male, it makes him feel emasculated and small. Even if the man is laughing and understanding that it's just a joke, he is still probably feeling hurt inside. It is not because he is sexist or he doesn't think that you're funny. It's because the idea that men have to be strong is so deeply ingrained in him, any comments suggesting otherwise make him feel like less of a man.
Another great example of bad competing would be if a man was excited to tell a woman that he got a raise at work. She might think that relating to him and sharing a story about someone she knows' successes at work would be a great idea but it would actually be a big mistake. It would deflate his ego and make him feel bad about himself. The woman is trying to share and relate to him but the man is just left feeling like his achievements are underappreciated and not good enough.
The worst thing that a woman can do is compete with a man or share something that makes him feel like he has to compete. When he's with you, he wants to feel good and he wants to feel like he is good enough. Let him know that you appreciate him, you are proud of him, and praise him for his successes.
Wondering if you would be a good fit for coaching with EZ Dating Coach? Book A complimentary 15 minute strategy session HERE and find out. Let's get you a high quality man that will be yours forever.
