Your love life is a catch 22. You want to date a man who is silky smooth in conversation, knows exactly when and how to touch you, and just oozes confidence. But you also want a man that isn't just looking for sex and is willing to commit to you and just you. Does this man actually exist?
The answer is yes, but he is hard to find. If you do find him, what are some signs that he is actually looking for love?
1. When you ask what he is looking for? He says "I want love and to share my life with someone special." - Believe it or not, most men do NOT lie when asked a straight forward question.
2. Talk of Future Plans Together
3. Introductions to Friends and Family
4. Scheduling Dates in Advance
5. Texting Daily
6. Phone Calls
7. Willing to Speak Everyday
8. Actively Setting Up Dates, no texting once per week to setup a booty call
If he wants you and only you, he is going to put in some effort. If he doesn't put in effort try asking the following: "You are an amazing man and I love spending time with you. You would make me the happiest woman in the world if you did ......."
If you try the phrase above and he doesn't deliver, it might be time to look for a new man.
I watched a social experiment on a YouTube where people were asked to rate their success on a scale from 1-10. Most of the scores ranged from 4 - 8. However, when family/friends were asked to rate their loved ones, almost everyone gave a 10. The lowest score was a 9.7.
What did I learn from this video?
I am confident and love myself. But, my loved ones perception of me is always going to be higher than I perceive myself.
How Can This Be Used For Your Benefit?
Most likely your perception of your loved ones is extremely high. You would probably rate their success a 10. Along the same lines of that, you probably think they have other amazing qualities. For example, smart, kind, funny, thoughtful and so on.
Since you perceive your loved one in such high regard, I propose a massive paradigm shift in the way you view arguments.
Arguments
Next time you get into a small tiff with a loved one and they offer their stance which is 180 degrees different than yours, assume they are 100 percent right.
What!?
What if they tell you, "gravity is not 9.8 m/s²"
It doesn't matter. If you believe the person is a 10. Maybe he/she is right about gravity. For the rest of the conversation, since you know your loved one is smart, kind, funny, thoughtful and so on, assume he/she is 100% right on this issue. Argue his/her point.
See what happens?
Would you rather be right in an argument that doesn't matter or would you rather be spending time together doing something fun?
Is Valentine's Day a "Hallmark Holiday" or an opportunity to show your significant other how much she means to you? After asking countless men, both answers were given about equally. But, there was a few points that men agreed on in droves.
Here are those points:
1. If I do nothing on Valentine's Day I am in the doghouse
2. I don't like feeling forced to do something for my gf/wife, I would like to do it at random when I WANT TO DO IT!
Ladies - The men have spoken. This is how they feel.
What should you do to alleviate your man's stress?
Early Relationship - Tell him, "No matter what we do on valentine's day, as long as we are together I will be happy" - Take the pressure off of him. Set the bar of making you happy so low that he feels like he can't fail. Once the pressure is off, he will feel stress free and then have the freedom to plan something special if he wants to.
IMPORTANT - Talk to your significant other about your expectations for valentine's day. If you hate the holiday, tell him. Also review my article on love languages to ensure you and your significant other understand precisely how you like to be loved. Whether you prefer gifts, acts of service, words of appreciation, quality time, or touching.
What if you are single?
Let's get you a man. Setup your 15 minute phone call with me now. Here is a link to my calendar, book an appointment and let's work together so that in 2017 and every year there after you have a Valentine!
Who am I?
Mike Goldstein is a dating coach who helps clients through one-on-one coaching and currently has 6 clients married with 7 children between them. He has been featured on the Today Show, NJ.com, Patti Knows of Millionaire Matchmaker, and Shape Magazine. 83% of Mike's clients enter relationships during coaching and he currently has 100% client satisfaction.
